20 FAQs about our Organization, PATH:

2006-11-18T01:52:00.000-08:00

1. Our weapon of choice: patpath
2. How we aim our weapon: sipath
3. Our preferred terrain: pathag
4. Our mode of reconnaissance: pathrol
5. What we say when it's enough: sapath
6.What ought to be for us: dapath
7. Our footwear: sapathos
8. Our gaskette: sapathilla
9. Our average physique: pathpatin
10.Our paradigm shift: lipath
11. A sure fit: lapath
12. Our favorite soup: lapath bathchoy
13. Our favorite merienda: patupath
14. Our desired virtue: tapath
15. When we can't bargain anymore: tapath na
16. The number of friends we have: apath
17. The number of enemies we have: apathnapu't apath
18. Our feared carnivore: pathing
19. Our mischievous side: pathaway
20. What happens to us when we don't stop this nonsense: pathay

Kayo, dear readers, may maidadagdag pa ba rito sa listahan? Gusto 'nyo ba itong...hmm, pathulan?

-- Bobby G

New words

2006-11-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

from: http://www.trh.bc.ca/fun/define.html

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. These were some of the best:

* Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
* Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
* Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
* Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

The Post also ran a contest that produced these daffynitions:

* Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline.
* Coffee : a person who is coughed upon.
* Flabbergasted: appalled over how much weight you have gained.
* Gargoyle: an olive-flavored mouthwash.
* Flatulence: the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
* Negligent: a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
* Oyster : a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
* Pokemon: a Jamaican proctologist.
* Rectitude : the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
* Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.

Non-English phrases
The Globe & Mail's Globe Challenge asked readers to add a letter to a non-English expression and redefine it. Some gems:

* Stout le monde: Is everyone getting fatter these days?
* Tour de forcep: a long and difficult birth
* Inter alias: among other false names
* Smuchas gracias: thanks for the kisses
* Chile con carnet: permission to emigrate
* Armor vincit omnia: Tanks beat everything
* Patter familias: I recognize your footsteps
* Coupe d'état: government limo
* Tubermensch: Mr. PotatoHead
* In vino verbitas: Drunks talk too much
* Souse-chef: cooking with alcohol

How Well do You Know Your Komreyds?

2006-10-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

A Pop-Pop Quiz on What’s Left of the Left

Bobby Garcia (aka Karl Marx Alvarado)

IPD (Institute for Peculiar Democracy)

Much has been said of the Philippine Left. But much has been said about other things as well, so what’s the point?

Good point. Nevertheless we – civil society types, torchbearers of radical thought and practice – place ourselves (still) within the realm of the left. “Leftist” pa rin tayo ika nga. Of course other leftists would contest this dubious claim. They would say: “If you are a true blue leftist, then why are you saying so many bad things about your old komreyds-in-arms – even the super-duper leftist of them all – that are unequivocally and undeniably true?” (To paraphrase Oscar Wilde.)

All we can say is, sometimes we need political lozenges. We suffer from sore truth. Ahrrm.

Now where was I? Ah, the quiz! The following, dear readers, is a foolproof instrument designed to test how much you really know about the radical movement in the Philippines. A tool that would examine your knowledge and familiarity with its history, background, personalities, recent events, and life-and-death trivia that defined and shaped its contours– which ultimately influenced the development of Philippine society (or maybe not).

Failure in this test would indicate that you are a fake, a has-been, a born-again burgis, or that you have better things to do, such as quickly proceed to the next article. Getting a high score would show that you are a conscientious radical, a dedicated activist who would buck all odds to fully realize the transformation of Philippine society – which means you need to get a life and go out more often.

Fire away, good soldier.

Jesus Lava was the head of:

a Laundromat
PHIVOLCS
Jesus Miracle Crusade
Partido Komunista ng Pilipinas
NOTA (None of the Above)

The first name of Mr. Sison, founder of the new, reconstituted, reformulated CPP-NPA (i.e. under new management) is:

Marco
Rainy
Yuletide
Jose Maria
Gwendolyn

This book of Amado Guerrero (whose real name is NOT Gwendolyn) served as the quintessential bible of national democratic Filipino activists:

The Old Testament
Beautiful Girl and other Pop Hits of JM Chan
I am Not a Disco King and other Refutations
Philippine Society and Revolution
All of the above except a, b, c, and d.

The CPP’s guiding principle is:

Marxism-Leninism-Mao Zedong thought
(in Tagalog): Marxismo-Leninismo-akala ni Mao Zedong
That komreyds should avoid old Party jokes like letter b. above
To advance people’s war using a protractor.
That komreyds should avoid explaining jokes, like saying letter d. above refers to the “protracted people’s war.”

The original bosing of the New People’s Army, Bernabe Buscayno, was also known as:

Kumander Alibasbas
Kumander Robot
Kumander-in-tsip
Si Misis (i.e. “si Kumander”)
Kumander Dante

There were two very strong activist student organizations that challenged Marcos during the early 70s. One of them was KM, which means:

Kilusang Mayo
Kabataang Makabarrio
Kabataang Makabansa
Kabataang Makamundo
Kabataang Makabayan

The other was SDK, which means:

Kabataang Makabayan
Samahang Double Knit
Sa Diwa ng Kapaskuhan
Samahan ng Demokratikong Kabataan
Kapisanan ng mga Brodkasters sa Pilipinas

The First Quarter Storm refers to:

the FQS
bagyong Yoling
a geology exam at the early part of the school year
the massive uprising of youth and students against President Marcos during the first three months of 1970
NOTA (again, None of the Above)

The Plaza Miranda bombing happened in:

Plaza Sta. Cruz. It was done without permission from the authorities, and therefore acts of similar nature should be banned in the future. This law should henceforth be called the Plaza Miranda banning.
1896, and the prime suspect was Bomber Moran
broad daylight (or was it night?)
an instant, with the express purpose of bombing Plaza Miranda.
All of the above except letters a and b.

The PMAer who defected to the NPA and then went back to the military and then wrote a book about the NPA and then was played in a movie about the NPA by Rudy Fernandez (or was it Philip Salvador?) and then hounded Ping Lacson and then was fired by GMA is:

Victor Wood
OD Corpus
Habeas Corpus
Esprit de Corpus
Victor Corpus

The “umbrella” organization of national democratic underground mass organizations is called:

PAG-ASA
The Mary Poppins Weather-Weather Front (aka The Penguin Alliance)
The National Democratic Front
The National Undemocratic Front
The National Panasonic

This is a famous slogan coined by the late former Philippine Collegian editor Ditto Sarmiento:

Ditto ba? O Ditto ba?

Ang dapat kong kalagyan?

b. Kung hindi tayo kikibo, sino ang kikibo?

Kung hindi tayo kikilos, sino ang kikilos?

Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?

Ang hindi marunong magmahal ng sariling wika,

ay marunong magmahal ng ibang wika.

Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan,

matigas ang leeg.

d. Pagkahaba-haba man daw ng rebolusyon,

Sa purgahan din ang tuloy.

Joma’s successor as CPP chair, Rodolfo Salas, is known by this nom-de-guerre

Kumander Oblong
Kumander Bilog
Kumander Itlog
Kumander Kap___
Ka Roger

This is a well-quoted aphorism exhorting komreyds to take a more progressive and holistic view of education and learning:

“Do not let academics interfere with your education.”

“Do not let heretics interfere with your revolution.”

“Education is not confined within the four walls of the classroom.”

“Those found cheating will be confined within the four walls of the classroom for two days without food, and should write 50 times on the board: “I will never bribe the proctor again, even if I’m the son of a congressman.”

Letters a & c.

This cute and interestingly familiar name is actually just another nom-de-girl, este, nom-de-guerre:

Ricky Reyes
Fani Serrano
Marco Palo
Byron Bocar
Marti Villalobos

The CPP-NPA’s original doctrine on romantic and sexual relations within the movement is called ORS (which is an acronym of On the Relations of the Sexes and not an abbreviation of hors d’ oeuvres). ORS has this as tuition of its dictum (burp):

“The Kama Sutra is not included in our revolutionary bibliography, so stop complaining and mind your placards.”

“Ducks are for eating, not for sex.”

“You should not engage in premarital sex if you are not married.”

“You can only engage in premarital sex if you are married, and only AFTER the wedding (not during).”

“In a revolutionary wedding ceremony, bullets will be exchanged in lieu of rings. These should not, at any time, be used as sex toys. (But as to the candles…)”

The victims of the infamous CPP-NPA purges during the 1980s were:

intestinal worms
flatulence
illegal aliens
suspected deep-penetration agents (DPAs)
suspected deep-penetration actors in movies for mature audiences only

These frats figured prominently during the CPP’s anti-infiltration purges:

Camille Frats
Alpha Sigma and Pi Sigma
Si Sigma Sarap
Beta Carotene
Kappa Pi Pi Sinipon

Ferdinand Marcos was:

a dictator
not a dictator
a dictator of the proletariat
not a dictator of the proletariat
the inspiration for the movie Get Shorty

On February 1986, the ND movement decided to boycott:

the CPP-NPA
San Miguel Products
summer classes
the snap elections
the film: Bituing Walang Ningning

The Foreign Affairs Minister of Zimbabwe in 1922 is:

Malay ko
Paki ko
Fortunato Ko
Guliqaqawigudigwasiwasimbulelo B. Uy
Not a Filipino, most likely from Africa, but what the heck is this question doing here?

The Reaffirmists reaffirm:

The Reaffirm document
The Gospel according to St. Joseph
The CPP’s basic guiding principle
The basic goodness in all human beings, so we must embrace everyone in our fold and let the divine light shine on each and everyone of us, including the stupid jerks in our midst. Amen.
The Rejectionists.

Joel Rocamora’s book which describes the deeply-held internal workings of, and the sacred truths within, the CPP is titled:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
See Through
Breaking Through
Breakdancin’ a la Rockin Rocamora
Mas Pogi ako kay Joma and other Poems

Ric Reyes, Nathan Quimpo, Sixto Carlos, Steve Quiambao, and others have earned this “moniker” because of their rejection of the official “Reaffirm” party line released in 1992:

Monikerists (in Tagalog, manikurista)
Rejectionists
Redemptorists
Knights of Columbus
NOTA (None of the above sabi)

In creative gay lingo, this refers to the male organ:

Imbyerna
Chugi
Malowka
Dakota-Harrison
NOTAH! (None of the Above, Hello!)

During election time, the CPP-NPA collects funds through:

Bayad Muna
The Salvation Army
Bingo Socials
Fashion Show
PTC (permit to campaign)

To Suffer thy Comrades:

is a cookbook (It is a sequel to The Last Suffer).
was written by Comrade de Quiros (whose column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer is appropriately titled There’s the Pub)
How the Revolution Decimated its Own. That’s the complete title, and you should grab a copy now! Go to any National Bookstore outlet!! Offer good while supply lasts!!!
Was written by a cute guy with nice legs, though a little knock-kneed, and has a rather big nose.
All of the above except a & b.

AKBAYAN:

is a pluralist political party
is the singular form of AKBAYANs
is a form of “chancing” popularized by the AKBAYAN people
will win many seats in the coming elections if it changes its name to FPJ.
is an abbreviation of AK ng Bayan (or The People’s AK-47).

Edicio dela Torre was one of the original leaders of a certain political bloc which, abbreviated, is referred to as:

NatDem
SocDem
PopDem
TanDem
PerDiem

Ronald Llamas is a member of which political bloc?

BISIG
PALAD
TUHOD
SINGIT
KUYUKOT

The name of the newly formed association of nat-dem activists from the 70s to the 80s is called:

T’Bak: A Generation of Filipino activists
T-Back: A Generation of Filipino lingerie
Tibi: A Generation of Anal Retentive Filipino Activists
Libak: A Generation of Filipino Hecklers
Toilet Duck: Disinfects your Toilet Even under the Rim

The organization formed to support the victims of the CPP-NPA anti-infiltration purges is called:

Bob Marley and the Wailers
PATH (Peace Advocates for Truth, Justice and Healing)
PATH (Peaceful Anti-Terrorist Hitmen)
Lintik Lang ang Walang Ganti Reconciliation Committee
Truth, Equality, and Peace Organization of Komreyds (TEPOK)

The Institute for Popular Democracy:

is an institute for… popular democracy
is not, I repeat, NOT the campaign arm of Akbayan
is a generous office with good-looking officers who can easily increase the pay of the Conjuncture’s staff writers. (Tip: This writer is an IPD staff)
office is a loitering area
is a political research institution towards advocacy for reforms. It allows loitering.

The organization that practices and promotes popular education is called:

Popular Initiatives for People’s Information (PIPI)
Popular Education for People’s Empowerment (PEPE)
Popular Education for People’s Empowerment and Transformation (PEPET)
Popular Education for Knowledge Learning and Training (PEKLAT)
Popular Teaching, Organizing, Training, Organizing (Again) of the Youth (PUTOTOY)

World peace can only be achieved through:

the US government
the Al-Qaeda
Lea Salonga
the Miss Universe candidates
who knows? Stop dreaming. We’re screwed.

Ang Susing Kawing (The Answer Key):

c
a
a
b
e (hint: can also be c)
b
e

Your Score (underscoring mine):

(30-30) You perfected the exam. What can I say? Have you got nothing better to do? Well here’s some advice: sport a beard, deep-set your eyes, brood and appear intense, and generally try to look ruggedly handsome, and you can be our own Che Guevarra. But consider ignoring this advice if you are a girl.

(25-29) Ups, you almost perfected it, if not for that extra beer last night. For you, this advice: eat more peanuts! Also, puff up your cheeks, put on a cap with a red starlet (a small star, you naughty you), and acquire a certain pattern -- i.e. male pattern baldness, and voila! You are our Mao. Omit the cap if you are female.

(18-24) You are extremely, supremely, astronomically average. One of the throng. A lemming. You probably work some, drink some, play some, and sleep some. And maybe you go to SM at least once a week. Try to be a little more eccentric and you’ll be loads more interesting. (e.g. Put on a scarf and you can be our own Vandana Shiva).

(10-17) You attend too many rallies. You forget your homework. But take comfort from the fact that Albert Einstein failed his exams in elementary. Now you know what you should do with that hair.

(0-9) Tsk, tsk. Ouch. Feeling miserable? When you hear the saying: “Hope springs eternal,” don’t believe it. It was just quoted from someone named Hope, who was a chain-smoker (menthol). She uttered these words at springtime, just before she drowned in a mountain spring. My advice: apply for a Philippine driver’s license. You’ll pass the test with flying colors.

All for now, dear komreyds. You have just done the movement a great disservice by taking this test. But take heart, for there will be a part 2. So in the great radical tradition of propaganda writing, let me end this piece with relevant slogans for our times.

LOVE HURTS!

ISULONG ANG SASAKYAN, MAY DARAAN!!

KANDILA, HINDI BALA!!!

The lighter side of PATH ^_^

20 FAQs about our Organization, PATH:

New words

How Well do You Know Your Komreyds?